The Past
by Cassie Jamie
Summary: The twins return to the house they lived in as children before it's demolished.
1. The Past - Part 1

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc.I'm not using this for money.Yatsa, Yatsa, and Yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Noellesen, Nick Noellesen, Sammy Noellesen, Mae Noellesen, Michael Noellesen, Christy Tyler, etc.

-*-*-

The Past

_Part One_

-*-*-

_What's done cannot be undone. - **MacBeth**_

-*-*-

October 16th, 2000

1:11 pm

Xan's POV

Here I am.Back in the place of my demons.The house I spent the first six years of my life in.God, aside from the yellow crime scene tape that's here and there, it looks exactly the same as the last time I saw it.How I loathe this place.

A door slams shut at a house down the block and I jump.Nicky grabs my hand.

"It's okay Xannie-bannie." He says, using a long dead nickname.

"I know."

"If you guys want to wait until tomorrow to do this, we'll understand." Peter says from behind us.

I turn around to look at the group of people.Peter, Sophie, Shelby, Juliette, Daisy, Scott, Auggie, and Ezra stood there, staring at Nicky and I."No.We have to get this over with."I thank God that they are here for this.I'd never be able to do this if it were just Nicky and I.

Turning around, I take the hand Nicky's offered.We begin to walk down the worn gravel path.Looking towards the whitewashed stairs, I can almost hear Sammy behind us, laughing at a joke that his friend Billy had told him.I feel Nicky squeeze my hand as we climb the wide stairs onto the small porch.The two small child-sized plastic chairs are still off to a side, and the coloring book that I had spent so much time coloring when I was six was faded and falling apart.

"Nicky." I point to the coloring book.Wetness has destroyed the pages, but the crayon hasn't faded.In dark pink, Xan Aleeza Noellesen is written in my childish handwriting.Underneath is Nickolas Francisco Noellesen and then Samuel Ryo Noellesen.Nicky squeezes my hand again.In front of me is the front door.It looms there, daring me to turn away now, but I just reach for the doorknob and push open the door.

The scent of death still lingers in the still and stale air, as well as the smell of dried blood.And as Nicky pulls me into the house, I can see the dried crimson blood of my brother and my father.My mother's dried up blood is on the floor by the stairs.

I try to pull away, but Peter's hands on my shoulders make me press on.Looking up, the arch doorway to the kitchen is right in front of me.Silently, I let go of Nicky's hand and walk over to the kitchen sink.It's cold and dirty – as it always has been.I run my fingers over the counter.My footprints, now eleven years old, are still on the yellow counter.I don't remember how my feet got dirty, but I remember jumping down from the counter and opening the cabinet under the sink.Looking down, I see the wood knob.It's dusty from the eleven years of sitting there, but I ignore the dust and open the door.

The small place, which seemed so inviting as a young child, is now dark and scary.On the floor of the cabinet is the dusting powder the police had used all over the house.The powder still showed the knee and foot imprints from that day.

"Xan." I heard Peter's voice, but I can't take my mind away from the memory of that day.I can still hear my father's voice and the small, barely audible scream that Sammy had uttered that day.

I know that I'm rocking myself now, but other then that, I cannot hear or feeling anything as my mind takes me back.I can't even hear Nicky talking to me.

-*-*-

Nickolas' POV

"Xan.Xan, don't think about it.Don't.Sis, come on." I say to her.I knew this was a bad idea, but Peter had thought that should come take one last look at the house before it was demolished."Xan, please.You're scaring me." I say, but as soon as the last word is out of my mouth, Xan blacks out.

"Come on.We're going back to the hotel." Peter says, picking up Xan.

"Watch her head." I say, jumping into Sammy's old role of protective brother.

Peter nods and moves her head, before walking out the front door.The others follow and I am the last to leave.I turn around to shut the door and look into the house.Memories.Bad memories are in this place.I cannot wait to see this house crash to the ground.I slam the door shut, and look up at the second floor windows.The pieces of paper still litter the glass.Drawings of a childhood.I can swear I see my sister when we were five, hanging another picture with the last of the scotch tape and saying something about memories.

I feel Scott's arm on my shoulders, and he leads me over to the van.We ride to the hotel in complete silence.I hate silence.Even more then silence, I hate the way Shelby is looking at my sister.Shel has this look of pity on her face and we don't need pity.

Shel looks up, "What?"

"Don't pity her."

"I don't."

"Then don't look at her that way."

"How should I look at her then?"

I shut up at that.I don't know what to say, and as Peter stops the van in the parking lot, I can see his eyes in the mirror looking at me.After a moment, he unlocks the doors so we can open them – Peter just HAD to get Child safety locks.Sighing, I jump out the door and help to get Xan.I want to hold her, and carry her to the room, but Peter takes her and walks into the building.Handing a room key to Scott, he presses the up button for the elevator.

I look at my sister as she stirs and whimpers, but Peter consoles her and I feel so stupid.I get on the elevator, and wait for it to read floor five.Reaching our floor, we all get out and go down the hall to rooms 521 and 523 (for the girls) and 522 and 524 (for the boys).

Entering the girls' rooms, a wave of warm air hits us.It feels good compared to the chilly autumn air outside.

"Nick." Sophie says, while Peter places my sister on one of the beds.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you go change?We can take care of Xan for now."

I look to Peter and his eyes tell me I have no choice in the matter.I nod, look at my sister, and walk out of the room.I go directly across the hall to the rooms, push open the door, walk over to a bed, and lay down.I squeeze my eyes shut to lock out the memories.

"Okay, guys." I look at Peter, "Since there's nothing else for us to do until dinner, we'll just hang out here."

"We can still call group right?" I ask.

"Yes." Peter answered, a bit of curiosity in his voice.

"Then I call it right now."

Peter looks at me, "Now?"

"Yes.While Xan's asleep."

"Okay.In ten minutes, okay?"

I nod.

-*-*-

Cassie Jamie

[NoahXfiles@aol.com][1]

Please Review!!

   [1]: mailto:NoahXfiles@aol.com



	2. The Past - Part 2

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc.I'm not using this for money.Yatsa, Yatsa, and Yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Noellesen, Nick Noellesen, Sammy Noellesen, Mae Noellesen, Michael Noellesen, Christy Tyler, etc.

-*-*-

The Past

_Part Two_

-*-*-

_What's done cannot be undone. - **MacBeth**_

-*-*-

October 16th, 2000

2:13 pm

# Peter's POV

Well, that caught me off guard.This is the first time that Nick has ever called group and to want to have it while Xan's still asleep – that's strange.

"Shouldn't someone go tell the girls?" Scott says, apparently about to volunteer.

"You guys shower and I'll go tell them." I reply.

Scott nods his head and walks into the connecting room to get clothing from his suitcase.I walk out of the room and across the hall.Entering the room, I am glad to find that Xan is still asleep and that for once, Juliette and Shelby aren't fighting – they are sitting on the other bed, talking, with each other and Daisy.

"Where's Sophie?"

Juliette points to the other room, "Showering." She is calm and reserved.

"You alright?"

"Yeah.We're just talking."

I nod, and then proceed to tell them what Nick had said.Shelby is surprised that Nick would want to leave Xan out of group, but she figures that it has to do with the house.Juliette and Daisy remain silent, and I leave them to talk.

-*-*-

# Juliette's POV

Peter tells us to calm down as group begins.Nick is really anxious and I can practically feel how upset and nervous he is.Personally, I would be too.I feel bad for him and Xan.They are really nice people and I wish I could make them feel better, but I know I can't.

"I called group and I didn't want Xan to come because I don't want her to know that I'm telling you this." He takes a deep breath and goes on, "When we go back tomorrow, there is a room that I don't want anyone to step foot in and no one can come up the staircase with us.The downstairs guestroom is not to be entered, K?"

I nod, along with the others, and Peter's obviously curious.

Nick knows that Peter is about to ask why, and Nick doesn't look ready to tell.

"I think that this was a stupid idea, Peter." Shelby says from nowhere.

"What was a stupid idea?"

"Coming here.What was the point?That house is everything I'm sure Xan and Nick want to forget and you are the one who brought them back to it." I add.

Peter is taken aback, and doesn't answer.I guess that's all it takes to make Peter shut up.

Nick looks around, "Please, just don't go in the guestroom or go upstairs." He says again, and then goes on, "My sister would never be able to handle what happened in there.I can't even handle it, and it didn't happen to me."

"What happened?" I ask.

Nick looks at me sullenly, "Sammy used to say that the guestroom was where most of Xan's blood was spilt and her innocence destroyed.All I know is that I would hear her screaming and I couldn't do anything for her.God, she'd scream and scream and scream.And I knew she was in pain but there was nothing I could do, but wait for the door to open and her to be thrown to Sammy.He'd never let me see her – not until she was clean and…" Nick looked out the window.I know he knew more.I know he knew what happened in the room, but he wasn't going to say.

"You know what happened in there, Nicky.And I don't blame you." Xan's voice came from the doorway.She was shaky and still tired, but I could tell that she is trying to make Nick calm down a little.She looks to Peter, "What time is it?"

"2:25." Peter answers.

I know what Xan is about to say, "I want to go back."

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah.I want to go back, and I want to show Nicky that it's just a house and it can't hurt us anymore."

Nick looks up, "When'd you think up that?"

"Sleeping."

Nick nods his head.

-*-*-

2:48 pm

Xan's POV

So once again we're here.The old emotions of 'Get the Hell outta dodge' are washing over me and stomach is in knots, but I can't turn back.I remind myself again that it is just a house – wood and metal and linoleum – and it's in the past now.It cannot hurt me.

"Come on." I walk up the gravel once again, this time not holding my brother's hand and not nervous.I can hear Nicky behind me.I know the others are behind him, and I'm a bit nervous about that, but I just hop up the stairs and push open the door.Again, the scent of death and dried blood fills my nostrils.

Nicky pushes past me and to the door that leads to the guestroom.I know Peter's curious why Nicky's there since I know Nicky told everyone to stay away from there.

"Open the door, Nickolas." I say and Nicky does so.

-*-*-

# Nickolas' POV

There is blood everywhere.Dark crimson splotches on the walls and on the old quilt that's on the floor.

"I hated this room.Dad never cared how badly they beat me or if they raped me.Never mattered, 'coz they always came back.When we were little, I used to dream about this house burning down with Dad and Mommy in it.I always wished that it would, so we could get outta here." Xan's voice is calm and I don't know how she can be this calm.I look at her and I know she knows what I'm thinking.

"I'm scared, Nicky, but there's no point for it anymore." I know she's semi-lying – she's rubbing her left wrist.She always rubs her left wrist when she's scared or nervous.

"Liar."

"Bite me."

I smile and Xan does too.We haven't teased each other in a very long time.I look past her to the staircase, "Ready?"

"Yeah." She replies, and we walk over to the stairs."Don't follow us." Xan said simply.Peter and the others obey, and begin to look around for themselves.We proceed to go to the second floor.

Smiling, I look at Xan and pull off my shoes.I can't explain why I sudden am doing this, but it just feels right.Xan is doing the same as me and once we have pulled off shoes, jackets, and mittens, we begin to run up the hallway.Half way down the hall, we stop running and slide into the wall.We collapse into each other and stare at the ceiling.The cord from the attic door is hanging above us.

"We'll go up there last." Xan says, getting up.

"K."

"You guys okay?" Peter is calling up the stairs.

"Yeah!" Xan yells back.She walks down the hall to get our stuff and shoves it towards me.She pulls on her shoes and her jacket, and stuffs the mittens into her pockets.She sighs and I know why.The door to our old bed room is in front of us.Once I have gotten myself together, I open the door.

The afternoon light is streaming in the three huge windows.Well, two of the three.One of the windows is still covered in the drawings we made when we were younger.Looking at my sister, she is walking over to the two pushed together mattresses that we had slept in everyday of our childhood.Or what was considered to be the years of a childhood.

Sammy's bed is at the head of ours.His few Batman and X-Men comics were peeking out from under his mattress.

The ripped up blue sheets are still on the mattresses, stained with things I can't identify.The bug infested blankets are still tossed off to the side where we had left them that morning.Children's books are sitting next to my side of the bed, and coloring books are on my sister's side.Crayons are all over the floor, some appear to be half melted, probably from one of the summers.

I want to look away, but someone had put Sammy's half zippered backpack by the bed. A wrapped package is sticking out of the bag.I am so curious as to what it is that I pull it out of the bag, while Xan walks over.

"What is it?" She asks.

"I'm not sure, but it's addressed to us." I point to the names written in one corner.

"Open it."

-*-*-

Cassie Jamie

[NoahXfiles@aol.com][1]

Please Review.

I know that the first two were short but I promise that part three will be longer.

   [1]: mailto:NoahXfiles@aol.com



	3. The Past - Part 3

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc.I'm not using this for money.Yatsa, Yatsa, and Yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Noellesen, Nick Noellesen, Sammy Noellesen, Mae Noellesen, Michael Noellesen, Christy Tyler, etc.

-*-*-

The Past

_Part Three_

-*-*-

_What's done cannot be undone. - **MacBeth**_

-*-*-

October 16th, 2000

3:00 pm

# Shelby's POV

I can't believe that this is the place that Xan and Nick spent their 'childhoods' in.It's small and barely furnished – not something for kids.Even I had something better.

I walk away from the others and go to the living room.I look around and spot a picture of three children with unruly, dark red and brown hair, and light violet-blue eyes.The three smiles and Xan's long ringlets accent their pink lips and lightly tanned skin.

"Shel?" Peter calls.

"Over here." I say.

Peter walks over, and I hand him the picture.

"They were cute kids." I say.

"Yes, they were." He says, looking at the kids.He hands the picture back to me and I put it back where I found it.

"When Xan described this place, I never imagined it would look so…"

"Non-child friendly?"  
"Yeah."

Peter nods, puts his arm around my shoulders, and leads me back to the group.

-*-*-

# Xan's POV

Nicky rips off the wrapping paper, and tosses it aside.Flipping it over, we can see the words written on the front – The Past.

"Open it." I say for the second time today.

"Kay." He opens the cover of the scrapbook.

The first things we are greeted with are the pictures the hospital took on our first day of life.Our names are printed neatly below them in pink and blue.Beneath all that was our birth date.

Nicky turns the page, and we see our hospital bracelets and locks of the soft down we had as newborns.The picture mom took of four-year old Sammy holding us for the first time is taped in the middle of the page.

I pull Nicky to the ground by his sleeve, and we begin to look through Sammy's last gift together.

-*-*-

3:30 pm

# Sophie's POV

"Xan.Nick." I call up the stairs.

Suddenly they appear at the top of the stairs, "If you guys wanna come look, come on." Xan says, and walks down the stairs.

"Are you sure?" Peter asks them.

"Yeah, we just needed to see it for the first time in eleven years by ourselves." Nick answers, appearing behind her.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

The twins nod and we all file up the stairs.

The hallway appears to have been shined in the last few days and I look questioningly at Xan.

She smiles, and looks down, "When we were little, and my dad was out of the house, we'd run for a part of the hall and then slide the rest of the way."

I smile and nod.Xan opens a door and I can see that this was the children's room.What was probably their bed was beneath the windows, and an old, small bookcase was pushed up against the wall on the far right next to the closet door.In the empty area on the left had a child-sized table that was about to fall apart.On it was paper and another coloring book, as well as many crayons.

Xan catches me looking at the partially colored papers; "I used to make a picture every night.Something I dreamed about or I'd seen that day or just what ever popped into my head.Sammy used to buy me crayons.He taught me how to use a Swiss army knife to sharpen the crayons and then I'd save the extra wax and put it in a pot and melt it.I'd get a paper cup, pour the wax into the cup and put a piece of string into it."

"You made candles?"

"Didn't have the money to buy them, and we often didn't have electricity in the house.So when we did we made candles."

"We also didn't have running water all to often." Nick says.

"You guys didn't have electricity or running water?How'd you handle that?" Juliette asks.

Xan looked up, "For water, we'd leave buckets out when it rained and then we'd heat it with the candles or on the stove when we had electricity.When we'd need a bathroom, there was an old house that the owners only went to like once every two months.They knew us, and they left the water on.We'd shower every so often too.We never thought to use the sinks or anything."

"For heat and light, we had the candles, we each had one sweater that auntie Christy gave us, and we had one really nice blanket that we hid in the wall that was from her too." Nick adds, before walking over to the wall on the far left.He feels around for a moment, and then pushes on a piece of the wall.From behind the wall, we can all see a dingy white down blanket appeared out of the darkness. "Hey, Xannie, look." He says.

She looked over as Nick throws her a candle."I thought we used all of them that year."

"Guess not."

The candles are a multitude of colors; mostly they were melted together to form a blackish color.They weren't very large – only about two inches wide and two and a half inches high.And the light thrown by them couldn't have been much.

Xan looks at it for a moment, and then stuffs the one she has into her pocket.She goes to sit on the bed.She lays back and I can see she's comfortable there.

Nick looks at her and smiles, "Having fun, lazy-girl?"

Xan smiles, before nodding, "Wanna go look in mommy's room?" She asks.

"Sure." Nick helps her up, and walks out of the room.Shelby, Scott, and I follow them.Across the hall is a door and Nick opens it.

The room is smaller then the children's.It only fits a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a rug.On the nightstand are two pictures and a lamp.Other then that, everything is bare – including the bed.Nothing but a mattress is on it.

Nick runs his hand across the furniture, "There used to be a blanket on this bed that was the warmest thing in the world.Mommy would put Sammy against the wall with Xan and me on the inside.We would curl up, all four of us, and fall asleep.I never had a nightmare when we did that."

Xan grinned, and then ran her fingers on the furniture.

-*-*-

# Scott's POV

It's strange standing here; watching two of my best friends relive their past.I can't even begin to image how they lived here with people coming in all the time, and with conditions that would kill other people.It's almost surreal, but I know that what they say happened, happened.

"Do you guys want to see the park where we spent most of our time with Sammy?" Xan asks.

"Don't you want to see the cellar or go outside?" Sophie asks.

"No." The twins say in unison.The tone they use leaves no room for argument or discussion.I remember why, and I know that everyone else does too.We all remember the night that Xan and Nick told us about Michael.We remember, even though we'd like to forget – just like every night in the prayers they say before bed.Every night they ask God to take away the memories, but He never does.

"Why don't we go back to the hotel and get something to eat and then tomorrow we'll come back?We'll take a closer look and you two can take whatever sentimental items you want." Peter says from behind me.

Xan looks at Nick and then nods.They walk over to us, and walk down the stairs.

"Wait!" Nick shouts all of a sudden, "I forgot something be right back." He runs back up the stairs, and then a few moments later, reappears holding a scrapbook-type book."Sammy's last present."  
We don't wait for an explanation.We know we won't get one just yet, so all of us head out to the van and pile in.Driving back to the hotel, my eyes wander to the book Nick is holding.

-*-*-

9:35 pm

# Daisy's POV

I can hear Xan's tears from my bed in the other room.I can only imagine what's she's thinking of that's this painful, but with all that she and Nick had said about their past, I figure it has to do with their father.Michael was a dick and everyone knows it.It's an opinion held by all the cliffhangers, as well as Sophie and Peter - even though they won't admit it out loud.

I get up from the bed I'm in as Xan's sobs become louder, and walk into the adjoining room.Sophie is shifting in the bed, and Juliette is still sound asleep.Sighing, I walk over to Xan's bed and shake her.She jumps at my touch.

"It's just me, Xan." I say.

Xan looks up at me, "Sorry Daze."

"You alright?"

"Yeah."

"What were you dreaming about?"  
"Whatta you Peter?" She says with fake sarcasm.

"Funny."

She looks up at me, her blue-violet eyes still teary, "Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't." I promise.

"Thanks.G'night, Daze."

I nod and walk into my room.Crawling back into the bed, I wonder about what she was dreaming.I've had pretty bad nightmares, but from the way Xan was acting; it had to have been ten times worse then any nightmare I've ever had.

From my bed, I can see Xan walk into the bathroom.I can see the light go on, and all of a sudden, my gut instinct tells me to check on her.So I get up once again and walk to the bathroom door.I don't even knock as I open the door.

Xan is sitting on the edge of the tub in front of me, with Juliette's razor in her hand.A long cut runs down her right calf from the back of her knee to her ankle.A small stream of blood is running down her leg, and she looks at me again with her eyes.

"I'm getting Sophie." I say.

"Please don't, Daisy!I won't do it again."

"That's what Juliette said the last time." I walk over to Sophie's bed and rouse her.She rolls over to look at me.

"What's the matter?"

"I need you to come look at…" The sound of the door to the room opening and quickly closing cuts me off.

Sophie shoots up and looks around.Xan's the only one missing, and the small pool of blood on the floor clues her in."Go get Peter.Tell him I'm going to look for Xan."

I nod and run to the room across the hall.I bang on the door – the rest of the hotel goers be damned.Finally, Scott answers the door and I run in, ignoring his annoyed and questioning look.I run over to Peter's bed."Peter.Peter, get up.Come on!Xan's missing." At that Peter sits up faster then I can think.

"WHAT?"

"She ran off."

"Why?"

"She had a nightmare and I woke her up from it because she was crying, when I went back to bed, she got up and went to the bathroom.Something told me to check on her and when I did I saw she was cutting.I went to get Sophie and Xan left." I explain.

Peter jumps out of the bed and begins to pull on clothes, "Where's Sophie?"

"She went after Xan."

"Okay, Xan couldn't have gotten far.Scott, keep an eye on everyone.Daisy, go get Nick and Shelby."

I obey, and within minutes, the four of us – Peter, Nick, Shelby, and I – are dressed and walking out of the hotel.Sophie is coming toward us, still in her pajamas.

"I almost had her, and then she turned a corner and I lost her." She says, before heading back to the rooms.

Peter looks at Nick, who holds his hand out.He motions to the car, and Peter shakes his head, "You're not driving."

"You wanna find her before she gets where she's going?" Nick asks, mad.

"I'm driving, Nick.You direct me."

"Fine."

We all pile into the van, and Peter started the engine.Nick directs Peter to the city park, and just as we all get out of the van, Xan is just walking up.Nick walks over and picks up her hand.They talk, but none of us can hear them.Just as I'm about to go over to them, Nick and Xan come back.

We get back into the van, and return our tired bodies to the rooms.

-*-*-

# Xan's POV

Peter has everyone else go into the boys' rooms, and has me sit down on my bed.

"Why'd you run, Xan?" He asks, sitting across from me.He voice sounds like he genuinely cares.

"'Coz."

"'Coz why?"

"I didn't want to get in trouble." I say, quietly.

Peter looks at me, "Xan, I know this is hard, but cutting yourself isn't going to help.Ask Juliette." He sighs, "You could've just told Sophie you wanted to talk.She would've gotten up, even if she was half asleep."

I nod.I have no words to reply with.

He sighs again, "Let me look at your leg."

I put my foot on the other bed and turn my leg sideways so he can see the shallow cut.

"You don't need stitches.I'll go get the first aid kit."

"K." I say, and he gets up.

While he's in the bathroom routing around for stuff from the first aid kit, I pull my notebook out from the nightstand.I pull myself onto the bed and lay on my stomach so I can write.

_16 October 2000_

_Dear Journal,_

_We came.I didn't want to, but we did.I saw the house.I'm trying to ignore what happened in the house, and think about how 'It's just a house and it can't hurt me anymore'.I even told Nicky that.It's strange though – I don't believe it, so why am I saying it._

_I cut myself again, and I was finally caught.Peter gave me a quick lecture of 'Talk to someone, don't cut'.I know he's right and I know how bad cutting feels, but it's better then thinking of that damn house.Right now, Peter's is taking his dear sweet time getting stuff for my leg.Unless, he found…_

I put down my pen and look to the bathroom.The door is on an angle, and I can see that he's holding the razor.He looks at me, and I look down.

"Is this yours?"

"No."

"Who's is it?"

I look up, "I can't tell.I promised."

Peter shakes his head, and I know he knows who it is.Juliette is going to kill me.

"Please don't tell her that I left it out.She'd be so mad."

"I won't tell her that you left it out."

"Thank you." I say, as he starts to put some Neosporin on my leg.He then covers my entire lower leg in gauze, and looks up at me.

"Do you want to go back to Horizon?"

I think for a few moments.This is the first time in many years that I've been this close to Sammy and I want to visit his grave, but this is also the first time in many years that I've had to think about the house."No."

"Okay.Get some sleep." He says, patting my back.He pulls up the covers for me, and turns off the light.I still wish he were my father.

-*-*-

To Be Continued…

-*-*-

Cassie Jamie

[NoahXfiles@aol.com][1]

Please Review!__

   [1]: mailto:NoahXfiles@aol.com



	4. The Past - Part 4

Disclaimer:

I don't own Peter, Sophie, Shelby, etc.I'm not using this for money.Yatsa, Yatsa, and Yatsa.

Claimer:

I own Xan Noellesen, Nick Noellesen, Sammy Noellesen, Mae Noellesen, Michael Noellesen, Christy Tyler, etc.

ETC:  
In Remembering Sammy, I said that Xan and Nick were six when Michael killed Mae and Sammy.Checking the dates just now, I realized that Nick and Xan were two weeks shy of their sixth birthday when their family was killed.Just wanted to clear that up before anyone asked.

-*-*-

The Past

_Part Four_

-*-*-

_What's done cannot be undone. - **MacBeth**_

-*-*-

October 17th, 2000

7:35 am

Peter's POV

"Peter." I hear Sophie's voice through my dreams, "Everyone's up and dressed.We're just waiting for you."

I yawn and sit up.True to her word, the Cliffhangers are dressed and sitting on the floor and the bed watching the TV. An episode of M*A*S*H is on and the nine kids are thoroughly involved in watching.Even Shelby is watching and laughing.

Sophie smiles at the picture and walks away to get something from her room, while I get clothes from my suitcase and slip into the bathroom to shower and change.When I come out, a pillow fight has started and I see Sophie's camera on my bed.I decide to join in on the fun and grab my pillow and hit Scott followed by Auggie.Someone accidentally hits Xan in the leg and she falls to the ground.

"Guys!Stop for a minute!" I yell, and everyone stops.I walk over to Xan and help her up.She smiles as she looks around.

"That's fun!I've never done that before!" She says happily.Nick is smiling as well and I hate to think what will happen later on when we go see the park and Sammy's grave.

-*-*-

# Breakfast 

Ezra's POV

Driving around Syracuse has been interesting.It looks okay, but knowing what happens under cover of darkness makes it hard to believe how nice things are.However, this place seems genuinely nice.

Xan and Nick know the people who own the place (The same people who owned the house that left the toilets running), and they are happy to see the twins.They insisted on letting us have our food on the house, but Peter wants to pay anyway.

This place is great.There's a buffet with lots of food like eggs and grits and things that Horizon normally never makes.It tastes really good.Of course, Peter and Sophie won't let us have anything like Soda or Coffee unless it's decaf or caffine-free soda.None of us mind though.

"How have you been?" The older woman, Claire Maryland, asks.She's a nice woman with graying hair and gray eyes to match.She's short and wearing a flowered dress with a white apron.She the basic grandmotherly type.

"Okay, I guess."

"Everyone's heard about Bob and Emily." John Maryland says, "Sorry about them.We were all hoping that they would be the ones to take you two."

Nick looks up, "I guess it wasn't meant to be."

John grins and looks up at Claire, "Do we have any of that strawberry cream cheese shortcake?"

I watch as Xan's eyes spark at the mention of something sweet.

"As a matter of fact, I think we do.I'll go see if Sarah has left Cookie any."

I look at John, "Who's cookie?"

"Claire calls Xan cookie.She has an even more embarassing one for Nick."

"What's that?" Juliette asks and gets a quick glare from Nick.

"Sweetfeet."

"_John_!" Nick whines.

John just smiles, and Claire comes out of the kitchen with a cake that's different then any one I've ever seen.It's a cheesecake with a layer of shortcake on top.All over it is strawberries and strawberry syrup, and separating the two layers is whipped cream.I'm drooling already.

"Wow.That looks so good, Claire." Xan says.

"Well, I knew you were coming, and I knew you'd come by one day, so I made your favorite."

"How'd you know we were coming?" Nick asks.

"Susan Jane is the manager of the hotel you're staying in."

"Suzie?I thought she left for college." Xan says.

"She's in the community college."

I'm suddenly in awe of the twins. All it took was two old people who the twins knew as children to make them happy.I've never seen them act this way.

"Ezra?Earth to Ezra Friedkin!" Xan is saying.

"What?"

"I asked if you wanted some."

"Oh.Sure." I take the plate of cake and have some, "Wow.This is good.Peter, are you sure we're allowed to have this?We're gonna be bouncing off the walls after this."

Peter just smiles and replies, "Yes, Ezra.A little sugar isn't that bad."

"A little sugar?" Xan laughs, "I know this recipe like the back of my hand.Peter, there's enough sugar in here to make an elephant bounce off the walls." She finishes talking and puts down her fork.

Claire notices and is the first to say something, "I know, Xan.We miss him, too."

I figure they are talking about Sammy.

"It hurts to miss him." Xan says.

Claire sits down in the booth next to Xan and pulls Xan into a hug, "Just remember he's always with you.Sammy's never really gone."

Xan looks up and then shuts her eyes, before releasing the woman.

-*-*-

# The Park

Auggie's POV

We all get out of the van and follow Xan and Nick to this pond in the back of the park.It's green with rocks big enough for a small child to jump from one to one to get to the other side.Trees are dotted around the pond, as well as rocks and patches of tall grass.Picnic tables are all around the park.

I watch Xan walk over to a tree and touch the carving on it.I tilt my head to see what it says.I can't really make out what it says, but I can see an X and four N's and a backwards S.

"X.N. + N.N. + S.N." Xan says, "Sammy carved this the day before he died."

Every looks at each other.

"Sammy was always trying to write his name everywhere we wrote ours.He said that it would be so we'd be together in writing." Xan said.She looked at Nick, "Remember that night?"

"Our dear brother's death, the memory be green." Nick says.

"Isn't that Shakespeare?" Sophie asks.

"It's from Hamlet." He says, and then looks at Xan, "Blood Siblings."

"I still say that Sammy shouldn't have put our hands in the pond." She says, and the twins get curious looks from everyone.

"What are 'Blood Siblings'?" Juliette asks.

"The night before Michael killed Mommy and Sammy, we were out here playing while Sammy carved the tree.When Sammy finished, he mentioned that he'd been reading something about blood brothers, and we said we wanted to be blood brothers." Nick answers.

"He had to correct us.I'm a girl, so that made it siblings instead of brothers." Xan looked down at her finger.She holds it up to show us the scar.It's tiny and barely noticeable, but it's there.She sighs and walks over to one of the picnic tables.Everyone follows.

She puts her fingers on the wood, and lets them linger for a moment.She runs her fingers over the table, and looks up at Nick.She says nothing, but he understands her somehow.He takes her hand, as he has been for the last few days, and they walk over to the pond.

-*-*-

# Sophie's POV

The twins pick thistles out from the tall grass, and use a reed to tie them together.They walk back to us and look at each of the group.

"Sammy liked thistles.They were the only things we could use in the house to decorate.We picked other flowers but they died after a week.Thistles don't.We just left them around." Xan says.

"Oh." Juliette says.She is apparently the only one who can speak.The rest of us are too sympathic to say anything.

"You guys don't have to come to the graveyard if you don't want.We can walk.It's just a few blocks from here." Nick says.

Peter looks around, "We'll go with you.If you guys want time alone, then I'll take everyone else and go back to the hotel."

"You mean you'll take everyone BUT Sophie." Xan says.

Peter grins and everyone jumps into the van.We drive a few blocks down the road, and drive into a cemetery.Nick and Xan direct Peter through the criss-cross of the dirt roads between sections of graves.The van stops towards the back near a section of graves marked by a sign that read 'Children'.Xan and Nick walk down a pathway to a grave with a tomestone of a cherub.Beneath the cherub is an engraving.__

## 

## Samuel Ryo Noellesen

_May 5th, 1979 – May 16th, 1989_

_A loving young man and brother._

## We are one and we will live and we will love forever.

"Hi, Sammy." Xan says, kneeling down to touch the face of the cherub.Nick kneels down next to his sister.He hands her the thistles and she lays them down on the granite.

"What did Sammy look like?" I ask.

"The cherub's face is Sammy's." Xan says, "He had these really cute curls even when he was older.They were brown, but during the summer his hair looked the same as ours.He had these hazel eyes that were brown or gray, except for some reason when we were together, his eyes were violet-blue."

Xan touches the cherub again, and then puts her finger with the 'Blood Siblings' scar on the stone.It suddenly starts drizzling and a droplet of water touches her finger.She picks her finger up and looks at it.She gets up and looks at Sophie, panicked.She looks at her finger again, and then pulls up her sleeves."Nicky…"

"Xannie, what's the matter?" He asks.

"The blood.Nicky." She says, and falls to the ground.

-*-*-

1:46 pm

# Nick's POV

We're packing.Peter, in all his glory, has decided that having Xannie pass out every time she gets overwhelmed with our past and the pain that comes with it isn't good for her (duh!!).So we're heading back to Horizon.He thinks that this was a good thing to do for us in order to get over our past, but it was too soon.Sophie disagrees.I disagree.

It was interesting to come back to our house, and see the past.It was something we'll never do again, since our house is going to be demolished today.

Shelby, Peter, and I took the liberty while Xan was asleep to go back to our house and get a bunch of things.We took our blanket and the candles and all the pictures from on the window.We took Xan's old coloring book and some of the crayons.I took the pictures from mom's room and Sammy's backpack.I even took the picture from the living room that's of the three of us.Shelby said she looked at it the day before and I should frame it.

"Nicky." Xan calls.

I walk across the hallway to my sister who's standing in the doorway, holding the scrapbook.She tilts the book so I can see, and I smile at the object.

The one picture that we had of our family was there – Aunt Christy, Uncle John, Mommy, Sammy, Xan, and I.Six smiling faces that didn't know the future, but were hoping for the best.

I look at Xan, smiling, and then close the book.I run my fingers over the letters.T-H-E P-A-S-T.I know what Sammy was trying to do now.If he were here with us at this moment, he'd be telling us to forget everything our father did, to forget all the pain and the hurt, and go on with our lives.

But we can't, so for now – we're going back to Horizon.

-*-*-

The End.

Cassie Jamie

[NoahXfiles@aol.com][1]

Please Review!

   [1]: mailto:NoahXfiles@aol.com



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